Thorin's mistake
by Evildarkwolf
Summary: What if Kili got worse before Thorin could leave Lakewood? Would he still continue on his quest? Protective/guilty/Thorin Hurtkili! And brotherly/loving/Fili
1. What if

**Alright! Well I'm back with a new story! Whoot. I have no computer anymore and have to come to the library. Hope you all enjoy.**

**Spoilers for the new movie! Hope you have all seen it.**

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I felt as the boat started to move and glide across the water. I couldn't bare to look back at my nephews. My heart fell to my stomach the moment my hand touched Kili's shoulder to stop him from going to the boat. The only thing that filled my mind was the horrified look Kili gave me as I told him he was to stay behind. My poor nephew looked so ill but I couldn't bare it if Kili was to get worse as the company went on. And I couldn't take the risk if Kili was to fall while in battle.

I was disappointed that he had said nothing to me about how bad off he was. I could still see the look he gave me as he lay on the stairway ashamed and embarrassed, but he looked truly sorry. And I can remember the disapproving look I sent back down to him even though a human had a knife to his throat. His bad choice to keep how bad his injury was, was overly foolish. My nephew could have gotten me, his brother or anyone else in the company hurt or worse killed.

I was glad but disappointed that Fili had chosen to stay with his kin than to follow me. He was next to be king and he needed to see from my point of view and how leaving Kili behind was the safest move.

Fili had such heart for this quest it had shined in his eyes, but I didn't see that look in my oldest nephews eyes the last time he stared at me. The moment I had coldly told Kili to stay behind was when Fili looked as broken as his brother did. Fili was very loyal to his brother. "Kili!"

The shout I heard tore me out of my deep thoughts, my head snapped up as I turned around to see why my oldest nephew had yelled. To my horror Kili was leaning away from his brother and was about to fall off the crate he was sitting on if not for Fili holding him up. "Kili." I whispered, my eyes became wide as all the men in my company even the burglar looked up at me.

I looked to my left at the docks that were so close to me, I could jump as the ledge wasn't that far. I looked back at my two nephews, it was the first time that I saw how really pale my youngest was. His face had lost all its color, his dark hair making it that much more noticeable of how white he was. How could I have not noticed how badly he was before? Was my quest to reclaim my homeland more important than my own blood?

I looked back at my men my mind was made up. "Turn this boat around! Now!"

I watched Ori reach over the side of the boat paddling at the cold water with his arms. Bombur was on the other side doing the same but with his huge spoon causing the boat to shake. As I got closer to my nephews my heart began to beat even faster than it already was. Once the boat got closer to the dock I jumped the rest of the way falling to my knees in front of my youngest. "Kili?"

I grabbed his chin making him look at me but his eyes were glassy and a strange white haze covered his once clear bright brown ones.

"Uncle?" Kili whispered blinking at me a few times, trying to focus on my face. Both of my nephews rarely called me uncle since this quest had started, Fili only calling me it a few minutes before. And hearing him call me it made me afraid. What if his leg caught an infection and I'm too late to do anything about it? I should have checked on him instead of being so intent on this quest. If Dis hears of how I have been treating her sons she would have nothing to do with me. I swore to her that I would keep them safe, she also made Fili promise to keep an eye on his brother and so far he was doing a better job then I.

I brushed my thumb over Kili's cheek, his skin was cold and clammy. He had beads of sweat rolling down his face as his body shook. "You'll be alright Kili." I told him as I looked up at Fili. My oldest looked back at me with watery eyes and I knew what was going though his mind…the same thing as mine. What if he doesn't make it?

I looked around at the humans that all stood watching. "I need shelter." I asked of the king of the village who was watching me.

"Bard! Take him to your home!" The king of Laketown shouted.

Bard looked slightly worried looking down at the young dwarf but as his eyes lay on me I saw hate and anger. "Bring him."

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**Alright I am proud of this chapter. And Hopefully it was not a disappointment to anyone else. And does anyone else think it was wrong of Thorin to leave his nephews behind? Poor Kili. It wasn't in the book and I don't think it should have been in the move. I love there familyness and that seemed out of place. Please let me know your thoughts. reviews are loved beyond faves or following. :D**


	2. Mindless

**Thank you for the lovely reviews! :D I know this is not exact to the movie but I needed to change it somewhat to make it work. **

**And doing a POV from Thorin was hard! This story was the first POV ive done**

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Once me and Fili got Kili to Bard's house we laid him on a bed that was close to a window. Kili let out a pain filled groan. I placed my hand on his head as I smiled down at him, my only response was a yell he let out as he grabbed at his leg. I looked down at his leg grabbing at his pants leg getting a better look at his wound. The hole was black and was oozing black blood and the smell…it made me want to vomit.

"Get me some water." I demanded of my oldest nephew.

Fili gave me a slight nod and I could feel the bed shift as he left for what I asked.

"Fili?" Came a small voice. I looked down at the young dwarfing. "Feee?" He called again trying to look past me.

"He's getting some water." I told him moving his wild bangs away from his face. My heart was aching like it never had before. The guilt was eating away at my very soul.

I heard someone walking up behind me, I turned my head finding a small little girl holding out a cup to me. "Are you thirsty?" She asked me her blue eyes piercing my own.

I didn't know if I should be nice and take it or push her away but I knew I wasn't thirsty. I was about to tell her no but she held the cup out even more to me. I took it giving her a sad smile. "Thank you."

She looked past me at the one who was on the bed. "Is he going to be ok?" She asked me getting a little closer to the bed.

I looked down at my kin, he still looked awful. "I hope so."

"Fili?" Kili cried again this time he grabbed at the air suddenly with his bloodied hand. This seemed to scare the little girl making her step away from the two dwarfs.

"Tilda! Leave them be." Bard motioned for his youngest daughter to join him at the table he was standing at. I could see him looking over his herbs. He grabbed a black bag of something and turned away from the table.

"Agguuu." Kili cried out his hand once again reaching out for something.

I took it in my own giving it a gentle squeeze but what I didn't expect was for Kili to pull his hand away as if I burnt him. "Kili…its Thorin." I told him reaching out to grab his hand again but Fili had made his way back with the water I had asked for.

He handed me the bowl of water and a clean rag.

"Fii…"

"I'm right here brother." I watched as Kili reached his hand out to his brother who in return took it.

Did he not recognize me in his state of pain? I brushed it off as I dipped the rag in the warm water and as gently as I could I dabbed at Kili's wound. I flinched slightly as Kili screamed out pulling his leg away from me. I grabbed his leg in a attempt to hold him still. "Dwalin, hold him still." I told the older dwarf who was standing over a table looking at herbs with Bard.

"Shuuuush. Uncle must clean your wound brother." Fili told his brother as he stroked his hair.

Dwalin held the upper part of Kili's leg as I wiped at the wound again causing my nephew more pain. His body jerked as he screamed out causing my ears to hurt. The oozing black ink was still leaking out slowly so I wiped at it once again my hand was starting to shake.

I looked up to check on my nephew and his eyes were turning more cloudy and his mouth was moving even though he wasn't saying anything. Fili had his arm under his brothers head holding it up slightly while whispering to him.

I looked back at Dwalin. "This cant be an infection." I told him in a low voice full of worry hoping Fili had not heard me.

"Indeed." He replied looking at me with sad eyes.

I should have known the risk of an ork arrow and I should have known from the signs Kili was showing, thinking back to it the young dwarfing hid it well from me. He better pull though or I'll never forgive myself and I know Fili wont.

I stood up from my position next to Kili and turned my back to him. I searched the room for Balin spotting him I walked over to him. "What am I to do?" I asked of him.

"I don't know laddy..I just don't know."

That was not what I wanted to hear from the older wise dwarf. My boy was in trouble and I didn't know how to fix it.

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**This is a nice place to stop. The next one will have plenty of fighting in it. So I hope you all liked this little bit. Kili will be mad at Thorin sometime in the next chapters. Ideas are welcomed :) Reviews make me very happy and makes me feel I have done a good job. So please hit that button**


	3. help?

**Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all like this one. its a little slow but will get better. I'm not very good with the fighting parts. **

**And thank you all so so much for your wonderful reviews they are so awesome !**

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Thorin watched as Bofur went to check on Kili. "I should be over there." He told Balin who nodded in agreement.

Bofur walked over to Bard looking over his herbs. "Do yea have any Athelas?"

"Kingsfoil?" Bard asked shaking his head. "No, we feed it to the pigs."

"Pigs?" Bofur repeated a small smile appearing on his face. He turned around running over to the bed Kili was laying on, pointing a finger at the young dwarf. "Don't go anywhere!" He said getting a strange look from Fili and Thorin, turning around he ran out the door with a smile on his face.

Bard looked around his main room at all the dwarfs that filled his home. But to his surprise there were only four left in his home that he could see. The hobbit was looking out of the front door looking uneasy…or maybe he was hungry. Bard didn't know much about hobbits but he had heard that they were hungry most all the time.

He looked down at the cup in his hand. He had mixed many herbs together and made a tea out of it. He looked over at Thorin. He didn't like him very much but he knew that the young dwarf needed something to help with the pain. He made his way over to the bed handing the cup to the young ones older brother. "Here. This should help." He told him giving Fili a small smile.

"Thank you." Fili told him taking the cup.

Bard could see how grateful the young dwarf was, Thorin even looked at him with thanks. Bard found it hard to believe that Thorin the king under the mountain had a soft side. But with himself being a dad he knew how family could bring out the soft side in anyone. Even the truly hard skinned ones. "I have to leave. I'll be back soon."

"But daaa." Tilda cried out to her father.

Bard went over to his small child. "I'll be back soon love. I just have something I must do. Bain, come with me." Bard reached up above the table he stood near and tore down a long arrow from the ceiling. With one last look at his daughters Bard left his home with his son behind him.

Thorin was humming hoping to keep his mind at a slight ease. But over his humming he heard a loud thump as if something heavy had hit the roof. Fili looked up as well then he looked over at his uncle.

Thorin put his fingers to his lips. "Shuuush."

"AHHH!" Sigrid let out a ear piercing scream as she tried to close the front door. Thorin jumped to his feet as well as his nephew. Fili ran to the door as the orc over powered the girl sending her to the floor as the door flew open.

"Ahh!" Fili let out a war cry as he collided with the orcs body sending it into a wall. His hand pulling out one of his knives out of his gauntlet the razor sharp edge cutting through the orcs stomach over and over, before Fili drove the blade through the eye that was glaring at him. He backed up as the body fell, right now he was glad that he had gotten some good weapons form the king of Laketown. He turned dropping his blade covered in black blood and pulled his two swords fire burning in his eyes. A slight crouch as he looked around hurriedly, and finally landed on his brother. He started to move over there when he saw movement come through the door, he started towards it ready to end the enemy who were coming in.

Thorin grabbed his sword charging at an orc that came smashing though a window. He thrust his sword into the orcs gut, hearing the tearing of flesh and the entrails' that came when he withdrew it, he swung his sword taking the orcs head leaving Thorin's face splattered with black blood. He then shook his blade. Nasty.

Thorin turned sharply as he heard Kili yell out. Thorin charged at the skinny orc that had his youngest by his bad leg, the orc with a smile on its gray ugly face pulled Kili closer to it with one hand his other hand held a long dagger. "Noo!"

The orc looked up the smile leaving his face as he snarled. "Ack!" The skinny ork let go of the dwarf he had a hold on trying to grab his sword but Thorin was too quick as he drove his sword into the orcs chest.

Thorin watched as the orc fell to the floor dead. He looked up to see that his youngest nephew had fallen off the bed and was now laying on his side on the floor. "Kili." Thorin tried to reach down to check on his nephew but something heavy fell into him knocking him into the bed post. "Ugg."

Thorin looked up from where he had fallen to see Balin at his feet looking up at him. "Sorry about that lad." Balin slowly got himself to a sitting position. "Kili?" The older dwarf asked as he patted the young dwarf on the arm. But Kili's only response was a small whimper.

Thorin got to his feet, walking over to his nephew he grabbed the young sick dwarf under his arms and lifted his upper body up while Balin grabbed his feet. Together they managed to get Kili back on the bed without him saying much of anything. But all of a sudden Kili started to scream as he grabbed at his chest.

Balin's eyes went wide as he looked down at the young dwarf. "Its spreading." He said looking up at Thorin.

There was an orc scream followed by another one. The two dwarfs looked to where the sound came from seeing that the she elf had showed up. She was fighting with an orc who was trying to grab at the girls who were hiding under the table screaming. Then Legolas came though the ceiling with his bow taking out the remaining orcs in the big space.

Thorin looked around the room, broken furniture, blood splattered floor, dead stinking bodies lay everywhere. There was still the sound of screaming, and Thorin looked in the corner where the two girls sat holding each other. Balin had moved over to them. "It's alright lassies, you are safe now. No need for screaming." His soft voice reached the two and they turned to him and stopped. Balin nodded and moved back to Kili. Finding Fili already there holding his brother up against him, whispering to him as Kili moved around in pain.

Thorin straightened up and lowered his sword. He wiped his face with his sleeve as he moved over to Kili.

Thorin could hear as Legolas called to Tauriel, Thorin noticed how she kept looking back at them looking unsure. She seemed to look worried as she watched Kili yell out and grab at his chest on the bed but she turned as Legolas called to her once again and she left.

**please review :-)**


	4. Help from an elf?

**Alright now that Christmas is over I'll post another chapter. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! Thank you to all that did review my last chapter and I hope to get many more. :)**

**The part that has Tauriel in it is nothing like the movie but I want it to be very Thorin and all about the family and not her. And sorry if there are any mistakes. **

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I was at a loss of how to calm my youngest as he rocked on the bed in pain, a scream leaving his lips too often. "Kili, shuuu it will be alright Kili." I whispered to him as I ran my fingers though his messy brown hair. My mind was still calming down after the orcs had attacked, but while I watched over my nephew my mind couldn't calm its self.

"What do we do?" Fili asked me, the king under the mountain with his voice thick with worry.

I looked up to my nephew who looked as if he was going to be sick. Fili's eyes were red and he looked tired and I didn't know what to say to him since I was at a loss as well. I was no healer and I wished more than anything right now that I would have noticed how Kili had been acting earlier. Maybe then I could have found a healer that would have known how to fix my nephew.

I could hear Bofur shout out in surprise but then he started talking to someone. Maybe I should call him in and ask him to find the rest of the men in our company. In case Kili passed…No I couldn't think that way. He was a strong dwarf! Deep down I knew that he was even though I never want to admit it. But he has made me proud quite a few times on this quest.

But if I was to be honest with myself he had made me proud before we even set out on this quest. His mother was proud of him as well when he stepped up alongside his older brother to set out with me on this quest. Right now I wished I had told them both no. I know now that if I had made Kili stay then Fili would have stayed behind to be with his brother. But in my heart I knew I had to bring them along and I knew they were both more than capable of keeping their own. They were the best fighters I had in my company alongside Dwalin.

The door opened wide causing me to look over at it, that she elf walked through the door and I could feel the anger boiling in my blood. Why was had she come back? She did save us all from the orcs, and that blond elf too, but that didn't change the hatred I had in my heart for any elf. I just don't think I will ever be able to trust an elf again.

The she elf walked over to a bowl and started to pick apart the green weed she had in her hands. My hopes were rising, I knew that was a bad thing. Why would she want to save my nephew? He was a young ugly dwarf, I even remember the blond elf saying something like that about my nephew.

She turned the weed in her hands causing it to turn wet as she walked over to us. "Hold him down." She said looking at me and my kin.

How dare she tell me what to do! My anger was back once again but I knew I had to put that and my pride aside and do what she had asked. I placed my hands not too gently on my nephew's shoulders in hopes of him not rolling away. Fili still held his brothers head in his arms whispering to him, comforting him as best as he could.

The she elf pushed the athelas into my nephews wound, and in return he jerked thrashing on the bed. My nephew seemed stronger than I thought he was as I almost lost my hold.

"Tilda!" I heard Sigrid yell to her sister as they ran over to help us hold him down. They each grabbed his wounded leg in hopes of him moving it less but the little one almost got kicked away.

I looked up at the tall she elf as she started to chant in elvish tongue. That's when my youngest stopped thrashing about and calmed down some. I looked back to him to make sure he was still with us but his eyes were fixed on the she elf. He had a strange look in his eyes, they were much clearer the cloudiness gone as he looked up at the she elf.

My heart was confused at the moment, I didn't know if I should thank the elf or not. All that mattered to me right now was that Kili seemed to be getting better.

I watched as my nephews eyes settled on me, I smiled down at him. "Uncle…"

That made my heart skipped a beat as my hoped soared thinking that my nephew was going to make it. Maybe I could trust this one elf….

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Kili will be mad at Thorin in this next chapter, and some drama of yelling haha. Please review! More soon


	5. Nuts

Alright, well I worked hard on this chapter to make it as cheesy as I could hope it doesnt disappoint anyone. Thank you to SiriusDancer for being the only one to review from the beginning to the end. I hope you like this one :)

The she elf has already left

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I was sitting in a chair my elbows resting on the table. I rubbed at my forehead hoping to relive the pain I had growing in my head. Today was one of the worst days that I could remember involving my nephews. I lifted my head up looking over at my two nephews as I heard the bed creek. Kili seemed to be waking up, he had said something but it was too low for me to hear. I pushed myself up my muscles not wanting to cooperate.

I started to walk over to his bedside looking down at my oldest who was lying on the floor next to the bed. I shook my head, Fili wanted to stay close to his brother in case he woke up and needed anything. I walked over to the other side of the bed smiling down at Kili.

"How you feeling?" I asked him trying not to think about how funny his head looked laying in a bowl of nuts. I could only imagine how uncomfortable he must be.

Kili turned his head to look at me his eyes turning sad. "Go away."

"What?" I asked unsure if he knew it was me. "Kili, it's your uncle." I told him hoping to refresh his memory.

"Why are you here?" Kili asked me blinking slowly.

I didn't really understand the question, why would he ask me that? "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You left me…You don't care about me anymore." He told me, I could see his eyes becoming watery just before he looked away from me.

"How could you accuse me of such a thing Kili?" I told him, his words cutting me deep. I grabbed his chin making him look at me. "You are so wrong Kili."

"No I'm not. You chose this quest over me…..your own blood. But I can understand why." Tears started to fall from his eyes. "You hate me."

My eyes started to burn as I looked down at my hands. I was fiddling with the ring I had on my finger, spinning it around. "I do not hate you Kili. How could I ever? I helped raise you." I told him not looking up, I just couldn't bear to see him cry. It was one thing to see it happen when someone else was the cause of them but me? It's not like I could take a swing at myself for hurting him.

"I'm weak. All I ever do is disappointing you." Kili whispered low to me. He took a deep breath he released it his breath coming out shaky. "You don't love me anymore." Kili told me his chest shaking as more tears fell from his eyes.

The words that just left his mouth made my heart stop. How could he ever think that I did not love him? I haven't flat out told them I loved them, I only ever did when they were small boys. Maybe I should? "You are not weak Kili." I told him my eyes looking up from my ring. I looked him straight in his big brown eyes. "I'm sorry Kili."

Kili looked shocked. "For bringing me along?"

"No, if I could do this all over again I would have gotten you help sooner. Then none of this would ever have happened." I told him my eyes becoming watery. "I almost lost you….We almost lost you." I told him looking over the bed at Fili who was still asleep. I couldn't see that much of him and I hoped he didn't wake up just yet. I needed to have this talk with my youngest. I was never one for letting people know how I felt about anything. I was told at a young age to keep my emotions in check.

"Mother will be disappointed in me just as you are. You should just leave me here and finish the quest." Kili watched me to see if I was going to leave.

"I'm not leaving you Kili, this quest can wait. Fili was right, you should be there when the doors open. You have that right." I told him smiling at him though my sadness. My smile grew though when Kili smiled back at me.

I reached out brushing his bangs away from his face. "I do love you Kili. Don't ever think that I don't." I grabbed my nephew's shoulders pulling him towards me, I wrapped my arms around his back giving him a tight hug. Kili buried his face in my neck his shoulders shook as he started to cry.

"I love you too uncle." Kili told me his voice muffled.

I sat there holding him and scratched his head until he fell asleep. I felt stupid that it took my oldest nephew's words to make me realize that some things are more important than a quest

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I was going to have everyone drink something bad and have them all fall over dead. :P But I wanted to be nice


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